Minnie's decision

Minnie is my youngest sister. Still single. Living wih my mom and Violet, my other sister, in Paranaque.

At 40, you will probably think she is in her late 20s or early 30s. Her small stature, fair complexion and baby-like face will not give away her real age. But for the past couple of days, she probably has matured and grown way past her real age. A dermoid cyst was discovered this week in her ovary which needs immediate surgery.

We went to see Dra. Nagtalon, Chief's new OB Gyne, last Wednesday morning at UERM. The cyst was confirmed and the doctor stongly adviced for an immeidate surgery as it could "rupture." The cost. 100,000 pesos.

Now, Minnie faces a crucial chapter in her life. A decision to be made. UERM or Medical Center Paranaque? A major operation. A possibility she might lose her own chance for motherhood. A ckean bill of health for a chance to work in Canada.

As my sister goes through these ordeal, we had many long conversations. We had lunch at the UERM Canteen and told her that the cost should not be a factor in making a decision on where to have surgery. Even if MCP was half the cost of UERM. Does she trust the doctor? Is she an expert in this types of surgeries? Why is the MCP price half the cost of UERM? How are their facilities? It is definitely no among the ranks of Asian Hospital or St. Luke's or Medical City. There is definitely a big gap between the standards of UERM and MCP... And I trust UERM better. They will not even notice you entering the emergency room of MCP. We know. We experienced it when we brought in my mom for an emergency a couple of months ago.

Is there a previous relationship with the doctor? After all, she and mom only discovered her by chance at MCP, unlike Dra. Nagtalon, with whom Chief has gone through a D & C for Christian Gabriel. Told Minnie that we

Gave her my "expert" opinion, after all that I have learned being with Chief as we went through our own parenthood steps with Dra. Desquitado and Dra. Nagtalon. I could have "insisted" Minnie have her surgery at UERM. I could have asserted my role of being "kuya" But ultimatelly, Minnie and my mom will decide.

She has made her choice. Prayers for Minnie will help. Faith and trust in God is all I have now. Plus, Angel Christian Gabriel looking after my sister, Fermina Velez.

Late night coffee with Fr. Armand

Last Sunday, June 25, 2006, we finally met up with Fr. Armand Robleza.

It was our second time together to hear Fr. Armand's words at Mass in Don Bosco. Tonight, he focused on three words, faith, focus and forgiveness!

Fr. Armand talked about man's fears. "Natatakot ba kayonsa mga multo" he asked the parishioners. He explained that our own fears are multiplied many times over. "Iyon multo ninyo dumadami kapag natatakot kayo. Mayrun na sa kuwarto, sa sala, sa banyo, sa kotse." he described.

He said that we must conquer our own fears with the "3Fs." He narrated the story of how the apostles feared the thunder and lightning and the storm out in the Sea of Gallilee. They called out for Christ's help out of their own fear, even though they were much familiar with that sea and its storm, being fishermen.

After Mass, Chief and I waited until all his well-wishers and friends has said goodbye and good night to him. Fr. Armand was such a popular priest here at Don Bosco Church and it was usually a 15 minute wait until he was totally free. People would come to him for blessing or even just a warm hug, specially , among the younger one. We saw a whole family come to him for prayers and blessings. He spread his arms and prayed over them.

Finally, he was all ours. He changed to a black t-shirt which said, "Bosconian ako... from elementary to eternity." I noticed he was wearing Dockers slacks. Black.

I said, "Ang ganda ng shirt mo Father. Mayroon bang kapatid iyan."

He replied, "Kaya nga suot ko. Mayroon puti nito."

I asked if he had dinner already and replied "I will have coffee with you." There was a slight drizzle was we walked to Shaq. He sat in the front as Cecile took a back seat.

We proceeded to Starbucks at Greenbelt 1. We talked about many things our own lives. Vision of Code Red. Ateneo. Greis wanting to meet him. Fr. Nim leaving the Jesuits. His studies in Rome. Giving up and again handling Don Bosco Communications. Homilythics. Out of the box thinking for seminarians. Spies from San Carlos Seminary. Mass during EDSA 2. "Sugog mga kapatid" Homily. March to Malacanang. Decency and no name-calling against Erap. Other priests afraid to give homilies during EDSA 2. USP for eggs by Don Bosco. 21 million pesos needed for his magazine to reach more schools nationwide. The kindness of Menlu from San Miguel Corporation. UCPB's IT team help for a website. Recording his Sunday homilies. Teaching media education at Don Bosco Seminary or High School. Driving down from Baguio and guessing number of churches along the highway. Karol's Ten years. Importance of communications from the philosophical and practical viewpoints. Sainthood. Working with DECs on values for students. Faith. Unborn babies becoming angels.

Cecile was surprised to find out that Carol San Pedro, was the editor of "CODE Red" Magazine. Carol and Cecile were colleagues in J Walter Thompson. Fr. Armand even called her up at the late evening and handed his phone to Cecile so that the two ladies could talk. Apparently, Carol had not known that we had returned from Vietnam already.

I was teasing Cecile to get involved in the publication too. Even Fr. Armand brought up the idea. But I did offer to write and asked Fr. Armand to let Carol call me so we could discuss these possibilities.

Fr. Armand adviced us to pray to St. Sabio, a young 15 year old Don Bosco saint, whose miracle was giving a baby to a couple. He also said to pray to Our Mother of Perpetual Help. I told him that Don Bosco Church was very significant to us it was the last new churach that we had both visited and prayed together for a baby.

He told us a story of a woman who had two abortions and was being overcome by guilty about it. She now had one baby but still couldn't overcome the feeling of losing two lives.

And one evening, they were talking on the phone. Around 1am. He advised the woman to get over the loss and move on... by lighting two candles in their house in memory of the two babies who died. He waited on the phone as she lit her candles and prayed to the two babies. "Kausapin mo sila. Magdasal ka sa kanila. Mayroon ka ng dalawang angels ngayon." Fr. Armand explained.

Now, we were even more convinced that we had Angel CG looking down upon us. And ever more grateful that the Lord gave us a chance at parenthood and help bring about a new angel.

Definitely, we shall have coffee again with Fr. Armand. Soon. I hope.

Four Fathers

Last Sunday was our 1st ever Father's Day here in Manila, after we returned from Vietnam last September 2005. Chief and I met up with Three Fathers who are our reasons for being and who continue to touch our lives.

Edwin Gabutina. Chief's father. A deeply religious man, who would take notice if I wore shorts in Church. He is a sports addict and is cheering the Dallas Mavericks. Me. Hmmmm, Miami Heat!

We spent the night in Cavite. Mom cooked up nilaga with lots of potatoes. My favorite. There was also fried chicken. For dessert, we had turong and mocha-flavored ice cream.

Minnie Gabutina traveled from Laguna to join all of us for lunch. Manny and Vangie and the 3 bugoys were there, jockeying for position in front of the TV set to watch Zathura.

Angelo and Aileen arrived with their own little Princess Kimi.

Hector Velez. My dad. He passed away last 04 June 2001, while Chief and I were living in Vietnam. He was a very quiet person, specially, during his last few years. He was especially sad when I decided to leave for Vietnam, and wouldn't forget his last words to me, "Baka di mo na ako ma-abutan."

We visited Dad later in the afternoon. There were two flowers in bloom, placed earlier by mom and my sisters. Chief and I prayed. Quiet. Enjoying the late afternoon breeze.

My mom prepared sinigang and lumpia for dinner. There was mango cake and brownies and bananas for dessert.

Fr, Armand Robleza. He was my classmate in Ateneo Graduate School in the early 90s. And would give me a ride from Katipunan up to Ayala Avenue after our 6 to 9pm class with Fr. Nim.

We rushed to catch Fr. Armand's 8:30pm Mass at Don Bosco. I had long wanted Chief and I to attend his mass and hear his sermon.

And we were not disappointed with Fr. Armand's words. He clearly described the important role of the father in a family. Sacrifice. Leadership. Towards the end of his sermon, he urged families to hug their fathers. "O ano pa ang hinihintay ninyo. Hug your daddys. They need 9 hugs a day for emotional health." Families hugged and kissed after they heard his words. People also applauded.

Chief was a little teary eyed as Fr. Armand mentioned that parenthood starts at the moment of conception. Was he referring to us? We wondered. "Kitang-kita ka kase in your yellow shirt." says Chief. Am sure Fr. Armand saw us from the altar.

After Mass, we waited a few minutes after all his well-wishers and friends had greeted him. I greeted him, "Happy Father's Day." He hugged us. He asked "O kamusta na kayo? He said a special prayer and gave a blessing for Cecile as she goes for her D and C (raspa) this week. And we would try to meet up this Friday for dinner.

For us, 18 June 2006 Father's Day is all these three fathers. Edwin Gabutina. Hector Velez. And Fr. Armand Robleza. Plus, the fourth father. That is me. Father to Christian Gabriel Gabutina Velez. Thanks CG for giving me a chance to feel like a father, even for just two months. We love you CG.

Happy Father�s Day to all fathers out there in blogosphere.

The 5 Year Wait

We had waited for nearly 5 years for Christian Gabriel to come into our lives.

Getting Chief pregnant was also one of the reasons why we opted to return to Manila. To live and work in a less-stressful environment. Not that advertising work in Manila is less stressful. Chief as MD of McCann Vietnam just had more responsibilities. More bottom-line figures to meet. Plus, nearly 30 men and women all seeking her attention and advice.

My life too was stressful, but not as much as Chief. Doing PR work for Korean, French, and even Vietnamese clients can indeed test your patience in a multi-cultural environment.

I remember one December weekend in 2004, Chief travelled to Hanoi where conducting a training program for the Hanoi School of Business. We had to continue our “baby making” plans during those cold winter nights.

The “baby making plan” continued through many nights after watching David Letterman and Jay Leno here in Makati City.

A couple of months ago, we were finally successful. CG was conceived! The nearly 5-year wait was over. Family and friends were euphoric. Tears of joy were shared with families. Our parents. Sisters and Brothers. Even the "bugoys" shared these joyous moments. Even Carla, Geneve and Nicole from far away California heard the news from our mom.

Between the few friends who knew about it. Ems Abrera. Rikki Arches. Joey Venezuela. Bingo and Mila Pantaleon. Tessie Chanco. Agnes Francisco. Ninong Bert and Tita Ditas. Ninang Sally.

All that excitement and exhilaration would last only for 7 weeks and one day… or 50 days, CG stopped breathing last week. A life was lost. But surely, an angel gained. An angel named Christian Gabriel.

And the wait begins again.

Lost

Often, TV is really a mirror of life’s realities. In the TV series, “Lost”, Sun, the Korean female character just found out that she was pregnant, although it was medically impossible for her husband to help create a baby. “It’s a miracle” he says as Sun breaks the news.

This is not about Lost, the TV series. This is about how we “lost” the miracle of Christian Gabriel… or CG as Chief would fondly call our baby.

Last Saturday, 10 June 2006, at Asian Hospital, Dra. Desquitado confirmed that we had indeed lost our baby… our first baby. She said, “I am really very sorry.”

There was really nothing more she could say. We had slowly accepted the reality a week earlier that we had lost CG. A first ultrasound last week had showed no heartbeat. A complete reversal from the pumping 125 beats per minute we saw from a 6-week-old fetus just a week earlier.

Last Tuesday, a second ultrasound had just reconfirmed what we had already seen and known. We "lost" CG.

Chief and I had gone through a few “lost” steps of our lives. In 2001, while we were still living in Saigon, my dad suddenly died. A year later, Lola Alice had died too. Last year, it was Ninong Dan Gabutina, (Dad Gabutina’s older brother) died of cancer of the pancreas (?). This year, Tito Nick Cruz, husband of Tita Eva (eldest sister of Dad Gabutina) passed away.

And now. our own flesh and blood, CG had been “taken away.” The Lord has HIS reasons. Chief and I trust that CG is “lost” for the greater glory of God. Truly, God works in mysterious ways.

Ayette's Message

Met Ayette Ostrea at McCafe Greenbelt today, as Chief was having her haircut. Ayette shared kuwentos about her own pregnancy after nearly eight years.

I always believe that people you meet have a message for you. Ayette seem to have brought many messages this morning.

She also gave a message of hope. After 8 years, she gave birth to a son. She cites a friend from Ateneo who got married at 41 years old and gave birth to a healthy baby at 45 years old. Chief is only 42 years.

Message of life. I could see how much she enjoyed life with her son. Even playing at Time Zone with him, like what I do with Miguel, whenever my 10-year-old nephew comes to Makati.

She also has prayer messages. Reminding us to make a novena to a St. Gerard at Baclaran Church, asking for parenthood if it is meant to be. Which is what I have always prayed for to God.

She even gave the name of her OB Gyne (Dr, Manuel Manahan) who helped bring out her young 5-year-old Teejo to the world.

She also lost a child before and went through the lost for a few years. I wish Ayette and Chief would meet and talk and share these experience about life, about motherhood and parenthood. Am sure Chief needs someone to understand what she is going through these days and the days ahead.

Noel can also help me answer a few questions. While I have no doubts about parenthood in the future, I also need to unload some of the sadness inside.

8th Week

Yup, Chief and Christian Gabriel celebrated their 8th week last Tuesday.

We have been taking it nice and slow for the past week. Just stayed at home and within Makati over the weekend. Watched “X-Men 3” Although, I had seen that movie last week with Miguel, my ten year old nephew. Plus, some groceries at SM Supermarket. But otherwise, really taking it nice and slow.

Since the abdominal pains Chief had last Thursday, we have reevaluated her current situation. I said, “Baka wake-up call iyon last week. Even as we are taking it slow, we might need to raise it to a another level. Be more careful. Take extra attention to what is happening.”

We agreed on new measures. Like opening the door of “Shaq” for her and waiting for her to sit comfortably before getting into the driver’s seat. Walking slower specially with a crowd around after Mass, as they won’t know that she is pregnant. Less salt. Less coffee. More fruits and vegetables. Two glasses of Gerber for Pregnant Moms (one after breakfast and one after dinner)

Taking Extra Care to the Next Level

The 1st Post on the 5th Year

Yes, it our 5th year anniversary today, 04 June 2006. It is both a day of joy and a little sadness. As today, we also look back to that early morning five years ago in our first greenhome in Ho Chi Minh City. Yes, Chief and I were sleeping that day when my mom called. She was in tears. My dad, Hector Velez, had died that early morning. They say that death comes like a thief in the night... well, that night, this "thief" came right into our greenhome.

Now, five years later, Chief and I have moved on. Now, living and working here in Manila. And expecting to be a family soon, as Chief is now nearly 8 weeks pregnant! Yahoo. And these blogsite is specially dedicated to Christian Gabriel. It is a celebration of new life to be born. A month by month...week by week... day by day account of the creation of life and the blessing of parenthood!

Today is indeed a celebration. I know that my dad joins us in this celebration. Even, looks after Chief as she disappers from my view after she enters the lobby of GT Tower. And soon, many of our family and friends will join in this celebration. A blessing. Even a miracle of life slowly unfolding before our eyes and inside Chief!

Welcome to all! Welcome Christian Gabriel! And many thanks to Christ for making all LIFE possible!

Babies. Babies. Babies

For the past few weeks, Chief and I have been living in a baby environment. There was an episode of “NYPD Blues” where Andy Sipowicz’s wife, Detective McDowell gave birth. He gives Theo, his young kid, a pep talk about being a “kuya” or elder brother to the new baby. Even on an episode of “Enterprise”, Trip is injured and in coma and needs a clone so it’s internal organs can be used to save Trip. A baby is born and raised by Dr. Flox until it is old enough for an organ transfer. And on Monday's episode of “Lost,” Charlie Pace, the Aussie rock singer character, is fighting to “save” Claire’s baby!

Of course, for the past few weeks, news of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ baby has been on talk shows even as he promotes “Mission Impossible 3.” Even Ellen de Generes showed 8 baby pictures and asked Tom Cruise which baby looked the closest as his baby.

One afternoon at Seattle’s Best Coffee, right in the middle of Greenbelt 3 while I was busy scribbling some work on my laptop, a baby in a Graco stroller was staring at me. His younger brother was finishing his homework while the mother was keeping watch as she enjoyed her latte. His father was the Duty Manager and probably, just can’t get away from his newborn baby!

Even Lea Salonga gave birth to a baby girl at Asian Hospital!

Of course, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt had their own baby born in Namibia!

Guess, it is really a baby environment! Can Christian Gabriel be far behind?