Four Fathers

Last Sunday was our 1st ever Father's Day here in Manila, after we returned from Vietnam last September 2005. Chief and I met up with Three Fathers who are our reasons for being and who continue to touch our lives.

Edwin Gabutina. Chief's father. A deeply religious man, who would take notice if I wore shorts in Church. He is a sports addict and is cheering the Dallas Mavericks. Me. Hmmmm, Miami Heat!

We spent the night in Cavite. Mom cooked up nilaga with lots of potatoes. My favorite. There was also fried chicken. For dessert, we had turong and mocha-flavored ice cream.

Minnie Gabutina traveled from Laguna to join all of us for lunch. Manny and Vangie and the 3 bugoys were there, jockeying for position in front of the TV set to watch Zathura.

Angelo and Aileen arrived with their own little Princess Kimi.

Hector Velez. My dad. He passed away last 04 June 2001, while Chief and I were living in Vietnam. He was a very quiet person, specially, during his last few years. He was especially sad when I decided to leave for Vietnam, and wouldn't forget his last words to me, "Baka di mo na ako ma-abutan."

We visited Dad later in the afternoon. There were two flowers in bloom, placed earlier by mom and my sisters. Chief and I prayed. Quiet. Enjoying the late afternoon breeze.

My mom prepared sinigang and lumpia for dinner. There was mango cake and brownies and bananas for dessert.

Fr, Armand Robleza. He was my classmate in Ateneo Graduate School in the early 90s. And would give me a ride from Katipunan up to Ayala Avenue after our 6 to 9pm class with Fr. Nim.

We rushed to catch Fr. Armand's 8:30pm Mass at Don Bosco. I had long wanted Chief and I to attend his mass and hear his sermon.

And we were not disappointed with Fr. Armand's words. He clearly described the important role of the father in a family. Sacrifice. Leadership. Towards the end of his sermon, he urged families to hug their fathers. "O ano pa ang hinihintay ninyo. Hug your daddys. They need 9 hugs a day for emotional health." Families hugged and kissed after they heard his words. People also applauded.

Chief was a little teary eyed as Fr. Armand mentioned that parenthood starts at the moment of conception. Was he referring to us? We wondered. "Kitang-kita ka kase in your yellow shirt." says Chief. Am sure Fr. Armand saw us from the altar.

After Mass, we waited a few minutes after all his well-wishers and friends had greeted him. I greeted him, "Happy Father's Day." He hugged us. He asked "O kamusta na kayo? He said a special prayer and gave a blessing for Cecile as she goes for her D and C (raspa) this week. And we would try to meet up this Friday for dinner.

For us, 18 June 2006 Father's Day is all these three fathers. Edwin Gabutina. Hector Velez. And Fr. Armand Robleza. Plus, the fourth father. That is me. Father to Christian Gabriel Gabutina Velez. Thanks CG for giving me a chance to feel like a father, even for just two months. We love you CG.

Happy Father�s Day to all fathers out there in blogosphere.

The 5 Year Wait

We had waited for nearly 5 years for Christian Gabriel to come into our lives.

Getting Chief pregnant was also one of the reasons why we opted to return to Manila. To live and work in a less-stressful environment. Not that advertising work in Manila is less stressful. Chief as MD of McCann Vietnam just had more responsibilities. More bottom-line figures to meet. Plus, nearly 30 men and women all seeking her attention and advice.

My life too was stressful, but not as much as Chief. Doing PR work for Korean, French, and even Vietnamese clients can indeed test your patience in a multi-cultural environment.

I remember one December weekend in 2004, Chief travelled to Hanoi where conducting a training program for the Hanoi School of Business. We had to continue our “baby making” plans during those cold winter nights.

The “baby making plan” continued through many nights after watching David Letterman and Jay Leno here in Makati City.

A couple of months ago, we were finally successful. CG was conceived! The nearly 5-year wait was over. Family and friends were euphoric. Tears of joy were shared with families. Our parents. Sisters and Brothers. Even the "bugoys" shared these joyous moments. Even Carla, Geneve and Nicole from far away California heard the news from our mom.

Between the few friends who knew about it. Ems Abrera. Rikki Arches. Joey Venezuela. Bingo and Mila Pantaleon. Tessie Chanco. Agnes Francisco. Ninong Bert and Tita Ditas. Ninang Sally.

All that excitement and exhilaration would last only for 7 weeks and one day… or 50 days, CG stopped breathing last week. A life was lost. But surely, an angel gained. An angel named Christian Gabriel.

And the wait begins again.

Lost

Often, TV is really a mirror of life’s realities. In the TV series, “Lost”, Sun, the Korean female character just found out that she was pregnant, although it was medically impossible for her husband to help create a baby. “It’s a miracle” he says as Sun breaks the news.

This is not about Lost, the TV series. This is about how we “lost” the miracle of Christian Gabriel… or CG as Chief would fondly call our baby.

Last Saturday, 10 June 2006, at Asian Hospital, Dra. Desquitado confirmed that we had indeed lost our baby… our first baby. She said, “I am really very sorry.”

There was really nothing more she could say. We had slowly accepted the reality a week earlier that we had lost CG. A first ultrasound last week had showed no heartbeat. A complete reversal from the pumping 125 beats per minute we saw from a 6-week-old fetus just a week earlier.

Last Tuesday, a second ultrasound had just reconfirmed what we had already seen and known. We "lost" CG.

Chief and I had gone through a few “lost” steps of our lives. In 2001, while we were still living in Saigon, my dad suddenly died. A year later, Lola Alice had died too. Last year, it was Ninong Dan Gabutina, (Dad Gabutina’s older brother) died of cancer of the pancreas (?). This year, Tito Nick Cruz, husband of Tita Eva (eldest sister of Dad Gabutina) passed away.

And now. our own flesh and blood, CG had been “taken away.” The Lord has HIS reasons. Chief and I trust that CG is “lost” for the greater glory of God. Truly, God works in mysterious ways.

Ayette's Message

Met Ayette Ostrea at McCafe Greenbelt today, as Chief was having her haircut. Ayette shared kuwentos about her own pregnancy after nearly eight years.

I always believe that people you meet have a message for you. Ayette seem to have brought many messages this morning.

She also gave a message of hope. After 8 years, she gave birth to a son. She cites a friend from Ateneo who got married at 41 years old and gave birth to a healthy baby at 45 years old. Chief is only 42 years.

Message of life. I could see how much she enjoyed life with her son. Even playing at Time Zone with him, like what I do with Miguel, whenever my 10-year-old nephew comes to Makati.

She also has prayer messages. Reminding us to make a novena to a St. Gerard at Baclaran Church, asking for parenthood if it is meant to be. Which is what I have always prayed for to God.

She even gave the name of her OB Gyne (Dr, Manuel Manahan) who helped bring out her young 5-year-old Teejo to the world.

She also lost a child before and went through the lost for a few years. I wish Ayette and Chief would meet and talk and share these experience about life, about motherhood and parenthood. Am sure Chief needs someone to understand what she is going through these days and the days ahead.

Noel can also help me answer a few questions. While I have no doubts about parenthood in the future, I also need to unload some of the sadness inside.

8th Week

Yup, Chief and Christian Gabriel celebrated their 8th week last Tuesday.

We have been taking it nice and slow for the past week. Just stayed at home and within Makati over the weekend. Watched “X-Men 3” Although, I had seen that movie last week with Miguel, my ten year old nephew. Plus, some groceries at SM Supermarket. But otherwise, really taking it nice and slow.

Since the abdominal pains Chief had last Thursday, we have reevaluated her current situation. I said, “Baka wake-up call iyon last week. Even as we are taking it slow, we might need to raise it to a another level. Be more careful. Take extra attention to what is happening.”

We agreed on new measures. Like opening the door of “Shaq” for her and waiting for her to sit comfortably before getting into the driver’s seat. Walking slower specially with a crowd around after Mass, as they won’t know that she is pregnant. Less salt. Less coffee. More fruits and vegetables. Two glasses of Gerber for Pregnant Moms (one after breakfast and one after dinner)

Taking Extra Care to the Next Level

The 1st Post on the 5th Year

Yes, it our 5th year anniversary today, 04 June 2006. It is both a day of joy and a little sadness. As today, we also look back to that early morning five years ago in our first greenhome in Ho Chi Minh City. Yes, Chief and I were sleeping that day when my mom called. She was in tears. My dad, Hector Velez, had died that early morning. They say that death comes like a thief in the night... well, that night, this "thief" came right into our greenhome.

Now, five years later, Chief and I have moved on. Now, living and working here in Manila. And expecting to be a family soon, as Chief is now nearly 8 weeks pregnant! Yahoo. And these blogsite is specially dedicated to Christian Gabriel. It is a celebration of new life to be born. A month by month...week by week... day by day account of the creation of life and the blessing of parenthood!

Today is indeed a celebration. I know that my dad joins us in this celebration. Even, looks after Chief as she disappers from my view after she enters the lobby of GT Tower. And soon, many of our family and friends will join in this celebration. A blessing. Even a miracle of life slowly unfolding before our eyes and inside Chief!

Welcome to all! Welcome Christian Gabriel! And many thanks to Christ for making all LIFE possible!

Babies. Babies. Babies

For the past few weeks, Chief and I have been living in a baby environment. There was an episode of “NYPD Blues” where Andy Sipowicz’s wife, Detective McDowell gave birth. He gives Theo, his young kid, a pep talk about being a “kuya” or elder brother to the new baby. Even on an episode of “Enterprise”, Trip is injured and in coma and needs a clone so it’s internal organs can be used to save Trip. A baby is born and raised by Dr. Flox until it is old enough for an organ transfer. And on Monday's episode of “Lost,” Charlie Pace, the Aussie rock singer character, is fighting to “save” Claire’s baby!

Of course, for the past few weeks, news of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ baby has been on talk shows even as he promotes “Mission Impossible 3.” Even Ellen de Generes showed 8 baby pictures and asked Tom Cruise which baby looked the closest as his baby.

One afternoon at Seattle’s Best Coffee, right in the middle of Greenbelt 3 while I was busy scribbling some work on my laptop, a baby in a Graco stroller was staring at me. His younger brother was finishing his homework while the mother was keeping watch as she enjoyed her latte. His father was the Duty Manager and probably, just can’t get away from his newborn baby!

Even Lea Salonga gave birth to a baby girl at Asian Hospital!

Of course, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt had their own baby born in Namibia!

Guess, it is really a baby environment! Can Christian Gabriel be far behind?